… Or a Thing May Happen
Welcome back to the Daniel’s Nemesis Podcast. This is episode 3, and if you haven’t heard this podcast before, it’s a series in which I read a chapter a week from a book I wrote when I was in my naive adolescence, struggling to understand the world around me, and putting all my thoughts into the context of a sci-fi story of an alien invasion just after the first world war. The typical metaphor for teenage, virginal angst.
After I read through the chapter, I shall then analyse both the text and myself, and make generally negative comments about the quality of my writing, and just what a bunch of neuroses I was back then. It’s all meta. Or self-indulgent. One of the two. And with well over a decade having passed, I can afford myself the luxury of peeping into a long-closed book. Well, it was never published so really it’s just a dusty old USB stick.
If you can’t be bothered to go back and listen to earlier episodes, or if you’ve just forgotten what’s happened, let’s have a recap. Don’t worry, no spoilers because two chapters in and bugger all has happened yet.
Ginger, our human hero, and pilot in the Air-force has checked to make sure he got some leave from the military over Christmas. He then went to the pub. Alone.
So, what can we look forward to this week? Well, it’s a short chapter. But we do finally get to meet our alien hero, Skaj Frite, or as he prefers to be known: William. Today, William is considerate enough to describe himself.
Just remember:
This is fiction,
Always fiction.
Logic is as logic does.
Chapter 3 - William’s introduction to the story
I stare vacantly at a reflection of myself in a turned-off monitor. All I can take in right now is the imperfection of this reflection. I see nothing of charm and humour there, only that of malice and hatred. But I do not know for what. I am caught in this mirror and I plunge myself into it, seemingly wanting to find out what is behind this image, the ideology behind this image, the soul within this image, but hard as I feel I try, I do not gain anything. I see a face, a light black skin. I see it is elongated, but very little nose. Long, but with very little gain out of my face. A mouth underneath. Twisted and frowning. Eyes, round, bright white but just with one pupil in each. My body seems twisted, unhealthy. We are naturally thin. Our skin appears shrivelled, loose over stick like figures. But me. I look different.
Turning away, I allow myself to remember that the image is there, and as long as I remain in this position, it will be there. So I try to keep it away from my vision. But it does not matter, for as I may only have to obey the aesthetics of that image for only a few minutes, perhaps, in a day, I know that that is only how others see me always. I wish that it could not be. That I could be someone else. Not just their body, but their mind, too. But I am aware that someone else would have to bare the indignity of being this creature that I am. Ultimately, being my body, my mind, my soul, then it could only ever be me. It is my image, myself, that casts me away from people. And that is loneliness. The true loneliness.
I face one of my crew. He is a good soul. I ask him what I want to be a simple question. “What are we going to do?” I have asked this in our true tongue. At least as true as can be. It was formed many years ago, comprising the many different tongues of our many different nationalities. It is a standardised tongue, one that all we of our generation, and many before, have always spoken, always known. Though many fundamentalists do not like this. But my reasons for using this tongue are to get closer to the heart of the soul in mind.
Skernajj, for I believe that it is Skernajj, is slightly taken aback, but not until he realises the language in which he speaks. For it is no longer the norm. For I have not made it the norm. “Well, Sire William…” and it is here that I cut him off, for in this instance, I do not want to called by my adopted name.
“No,” I say.
“Well, Sire Frite. We should attack. We must attack.”
Sadly, this is the answer I was looking for. The confirmation that I needed, that what we were to be doing was right. But I have to ask, “Why?”
“For it is our only way, Sire. Our other options are no longer available to us. They are much stronger, now, than we could ever have imagined them being.”
“Then so it must be.” And I speak this in English. Because it is the right way to act.
Our fleet has now reached Earth. We are finally here, though it has taken a long time. And yet, there is still much to do. Many preparations to be made. Now, more than ever, we must be unified, and it is me that must ensure this. Yet, it is Earth, and our whole purpose here that has caused dissolution in the first place.
I am tortured by dreams of Holly at night. I wish she was here, to guide me through this. But no. She is not. It is therefore down to me, and only me.
General Notes
Well, that was the chapter, here are some of my thoughts. You’ve met William, so let’s have a quick look at him, and how I think he’s different to Ginger.
William to me became the more interesting character. Someone I was able to identify with more, so much so that I was considering rewriting the book just from his point of view.
Ginger was more the unconscious side of me, using dreams and dark imaginings, and with the feral desire, arrogance and confusion I had and which became the basis for the name Daniel’s Nemesis. Nemesis being my internal conflict.
William is more the logical, considered, reserved side of me. Basically the kid standing all alone in the school playground during breaks and lunches. Also confused, but about outside matters, whereas Ginger’s confusion is more internal. Outside matters are only a way for Ginger to sink internally and then reinterpret the issues to make them more about him. Basically the kid that’s sat in his room decorated with all sorts of scribblings and graffiti all over his bedroom wall. True story.
The English name is an interesting idea, and happened long before I came to Korea, which is where I am currently recording this (I’m an English teacher), and discovered that a lot of Koreans take on English names. Because they are smart enough to know that us Westerners, particularly of the English speaking variant, won’t be able to remember their actual names. And that same idea is what William wants - a name that is easily remembered, and not a seemingly meaningless collection of random syllables and sounds that we have nothing to connect with - a bit of an insight into how I came up with most of the names for the Trascons.
William took on an English name mostly because he desires peace between the two races. And it’s a bridge between the two cultures. A small sacrifice to make and to show that he doesn’t want to obliterate human culture. It may even be a reference to William the Conqueror, but I have no recollection of that anymore. Really, when coming up with names for him, having an alien named William just seemed like a funny idea.
He also gets the Trascons to speak English. Again, to ease the tensions between the races. They have the time and opportunity to practice English, whereas had they just turned up on Earth speaking their Trascon tongue, nobody would be able to understand them. And we all know what happens when we can’t understand someone - we start shouting or shooting. It’s also a nice easy way to get William and Ginger to talk to each other without falling into the sci-fi trap of having every single alien race in the universe speak English. The British Empire, and TEFL, is good at spreading the English language, but not that good. Final point, both regarding the choice of name and Trascon language, I didn’t want to write out loads of stupid sounding words. I’m just about tolerable of the names, but still wanted to minimize the usage. Nor did I want to invent a language like Kling-on, or as Avatar and Tolkien did. I’m no linguist, as my poor attempt at (learning) Korean has proved.
Also, notice how I talked about a standardised tongue. The Trascons form many nationalities with many of their own cultures. This standardised tongue was a suggestion towards an Esperanto type language, a composite, that would become the official language. The hint here being that William is not just fighting against a human world of languages and cultures, but also of his own world. William really is a lonely figure, which is why he falls into self-hate. A figurehead of an Empire like an even more miserable Queen Victoria.
What Would I Change?
I’m pretty happy with this chapter overall. I think it sets everything up well. William’s general depression, sets up his reliance upon Skernajj, and the conflict going through his mind about what to do with the humans. A touch on the down side, perhaps, but as a much later inclusion, I’m actually fairly happy with this chapter. A greater degree of conflict may have got a publisher interested. But I’m over that deep wound now.
What Did Already Change?
Well, creating William as a secondary main character, really. There are some scenes revolving around William in the earliest versions of this story, but nowhere near as many, so this whole chapter is completely new. Also, Skernajj was one of the other central alien figures, and a lot of time was devoted to him when I did go to the Trascons - he had a girlfriend. In completely rewriting this, William became, not the antagonist, but the secondary protagonist, and Skernajj became his antagonist in a relationship that was to bear stronger fruit than any relationship that Ginger has.
This means an alteration to the inciting incident, and certainly a shifting of it. I’m not going to say what the inciting incident originally was, as that would spoil later chapters. And, against prior evidence, suggest that things actually happen in this story.
I didn’t even know what an inciting incident was until I was being interviewed to get into a Master’s program in scriptwriting. Multiple rejections of this book from publishers meant I wanted to learn more about the art of writing, because I realised I clearly knew nothing. At that interview, I was talking about the film The Mirror by Tarkovsky. I thought I was going to be super-smart talking about it. Except, it famously has a narrative that is extremely unconventional and non-linear, hence the reason I decided to bring it up in the interview. I have books on Tarkovsky. I haven’t read them. I was just talking out of my rear. The strategy was working until asked what the inciting incident of The Mirror was. I couldn’t answer for two reasons. A) I didn’t know what an inciting incident was and, after it was explained to me, B) Wrong movie choice to go into an interview for a course that was to teach the deep fundamentals of a craft and expect me to obey all of them. I was a bit too clever for my own boots, and couldn’t answer as my choice of film, the type of film I wanted to write, was skilful at subverting all those techniques, not that I was aware enough of them to know what rules were being bent. My interviewer gracefully allowed me to mention an inciting incident in another movie. Wow, I had no idea. My mind reached around, then suddenly inspiration took hold. I had recently seen the TV series Spaced on DVD in which Simon Pegg’s Star Wars obsessed character talks about the moment at the beginning of the original film in which the ship Leia is on is shot down. How the two gunners are the most important characters in that universe without them ever knowing it, for putting into place what will happen in the original trilogy. So, I stole that whole spiel, and now have Simon Pegg to thank for saving my bacon on that fateful day, and allowing me to get the opportunity to get a meaningless degree, at great cost, that would never get me a job in the UK meaning that I have now ended up in Korea. Talk about inciting incidents.
Returning to the book, this is where the story really begins. The Trascons had clearly been planning what to do upon arrival at Earth, but William debates it. Just what you need in a Supreme Leader - someone who dithers a lot. He’s really left this decision to the last moment. He could choose another path, probably a peaceful one, which he’s in turmoil about, but Skernajj convinces him to go with the original plan. It could have been so different. Now, there is no going back. The story has finally begun.
My God, three chapters in, and something’s finally happened.
The Cheesiest Moment
Well, it’s him describing himself. As the narrative is told from a first person perspective, it’s not easy to fit in descriptions, especially of one-self through a first-person narrative. People may notice things about others, and we all have an internal dialogue. But how often do we actually internally verbalise how someone looks, which is quite important in a text based format. So, it’s certainly a contrivance, but I think I did quite well in how I brought it about. But I never really describe how the other aliens look, which would have brought a bit more variety into the race as a whole, and stops all Trascons from seeming the same. I don’t think I ever recall stating if Skernajj is tall, diminutive, what kind of poses he takes, if he’s ever exercised ever in his life. Also, I could have done more with how emotions play across the Trascons’ faces. All visual stuff I left in my head. As my lecturer said to me - “if it ain’t on the page, it’s not there at all”.
Was I just forgetful, ignorant, lazy? Maybe perhaps I was trying not to patronise the reader, leaving it up to them to decide what each of the characters look like. Regardless, a few descriptions here and there would have been useful in creating more rounded characters. But we are still at the beginning of the book, so let’s see what I really did with the characters as the story progresses.
The Shining Light
It’s short and sweet, in a good way. It humanises William. ‘Trasconsises’ him if you want. But I think what I really like is how he uses the Trascon tongue, and desires to be called by his given name. He, like Ginger in the previous episode, is breaking character before anything is established. He breaks his own rules with his very first uttered words. On one side, it’s me attempting to give a vision of what these characters are like, by pulling the rug from underneath the reader - who, let's face it, hasn’t had enough time to stabilise themselves, and on the other, it’s me clearly being bored, and playful. As a technique, I have no idea if it works. But as a way to introduce characters, it’s certainly an interesting idea to display almost the complete opposite of their beliefs upon first meeting them. Though, to be fair, many of their actual attributes are still there. I’ve just not made it obvious which are and are not. Hopefully this engages the listener. And establishes a flaw with me then analysing the content of each chapter before you’ve listened to the whole story. But who’s to say that I’m not going to be playful with the characters later on? And you can always come back and listen to these podcasts again at a later date.
Quote of the Day
Well, this ties in with the next feature, but it is at least a bold statement. “It is my image, myself, that casts me away from people. And that is loneliness. The true loneliness.” A bit bold, that, I think. And a very definitive statement. Just what we are looking for.
The Psychologist’s Chair
Need I really point out that William is just mirroring a lot of the feelings I had towards the inadequacies of my own body? How he holds in his head his image of himself, even when he has stopped looking at the mirror. That self-consciousness that I hope most of us have had at some point. Currently my self image is typically based on photographs in which I am drunk. You know, unfashionable clothes, gangly and awkward and half-closed eyes making me look as if I am having a fit.
I like to think that I’ve grown into my body. And that it suits me a lot more than it did then. Also, being a poor starved student, I was pretty thin. I could be quite disgusted with my body. These days all I have to worry about is a small bald spot on my crown. And I’ve now learned to control my image more, especially in class by acting as a fool, and taking ownership of my awkwardness.
Farewell
A shorter episode today. Is this good or is this bad? Do I explain too much, spoiling your pleasure of the story and further explorations and revelations, or do you want to hear more behind the scenes stuff? Let me know through Facebook and Twitter, and as always, any interpretations you may have that I may not have seen. And any generally nice comments will always be welcomed.
Join me next week as Ginger meets his girlfriend, unchaperoned, to go on holiday.
Cheerio and TTFN. (Book closes)
And just in case you were wondering,
all text was written by me, Daniel’s Nemesis and XBook is purely a work of fiction and is not meant to be based on anyone or any events at all.
The music was also by me, Daniel’s Nemesis as was the image that accompanies this podcast.
It sucks, doesn’t it?
But there we go.