Midterm Exam
(Possibly the dumbest s**t I've done, but I love it)
MOULDY:
Daniel’s Nemesis is unavailable this week and next but will be back soon with a Catch-Up episode and then the following week with a chapter. Instead, it is I, Mouldy, from the original X2 + Y Files.
{QUIZ MUSIC]
So, I thought that we’d do something different, and as you may be able to tell by the music, that’s a quiz.
The Daniel’s Nemesis Midterm Exam!
The rules are simple, answer the questions. If you cheat, I won’t know and won’t care. So, play solo, play as a team, but if I know my audience, you will be playing solo. Very, very solo.
Ready?
1 What is Mitsuko Nakagawa’s name?
2 What, according to Mitsuko, does The FIB stand for?
3 Hemingway’s full name is Emming A Hemmingway. What does the A stand for?
4 Crunchy is named after an iconic monster who made his first appearance 100 years ago. What is the name of that monster?
Oh, they’re easy questions, are they? Let’s see if you are really paying attention.
5 What two items does Crunchy bring with him that he is constantly afraid of losing as he navigates through London?
6 What is Crunchy’s most annoying feature?
7 Who is Crunchy related to?
8 Why is Crunchy initially unable to leave the FIB?
9 What is Mitsuko’s general attitude towards Crunchy?
10 What is the investigation that the agents are assigned to investigate?
11 What, so far into the book, is Hemmingway’s biggest secret?
12 Day 2, and how do the two agents handle Crunchy?
13 Crunchy is a miserable fucker. How does he find a bit of self-esteem?
14 What is interesting about Crunchy’s reflection?
15 What valuable skill does boy witness and apparent hanger-on Fellini Bunuel turn out to have?
16 What, in a 20,000-word dissertation, is X, Squared all about, basing your answer on the first ten chapters only?
Answers in a moment, but first a bit of pointless banter.
Did you know that Daniel’s Nemesis only likes this computer-generated voice because of the fact that it is the only voice on all of God’s earth with a more awkward delivery than Daniel’s Nemesis’ reading of Crunchy?
Also, most of Daniel’s Nemesis’ listeners are in the States. Howdy Y’all. Finally a bit of representation on this limey podcast.
Daniel’s Nemesis only puts on a Welsh accent. He relaxes his vocal cords and imagines that this is what he sounded like when he was younger. But he is very concerned that his Welsh, Scouse and West Country accents are all a bit too similar and he has no idea having not been in the country for 15 years. Listen to Bunuel, he is supposed to have a cockney accent but his speech often reflects the other character’s that he is talking to. But it’s all just representative, right?
Is that enough bants? I could totally be Jimmy Carr in TheBig Fat Quiz. Let’s get into the answers.
1 What is Mitsuko Nakagawa’s name?
Mitsuko Nakagwa’s name is Mitsuko Nakagawa and that is totally not a rip-off of Koushun Takami’s 1999 novel Battle Royale (later adapted into a 2000 film directed by Kinji Fukasaku) for legal reasons.
2 What, according to Mitsuko, does The FIB stand for?
Fucking Idiotic Bastards
3 Hemingway’s full name is Emming A Hemmingway. What does the A stand for?
The A stands for A
A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A
4 Crunchy is named after an iconic monster who made his first appearance 100 years ago. What is the name of that monster?
The plague-spreading rat-based vampire Nosferatu, 1922 by F W Murnau, and totally not a rip-off of Bram Stoker’s Dracula for legal reasons.
5 What two items does Crunchy bring with him that he is constantly afraid of losing as he navigates through London?
His letter confirming his work experience and a pair of underpants.
6 What is Crunchy’s most annoying feature?
Answers will vary.
My answer is his existence, and his continued inability to die.
7 Who is Crunchy related to?
Crunchy is related to [DISTORTION] [REDACTED]
8 Why is Crunchy initially unable to leave the FIB?
He has a collar that is set to explode if he ventures more than 20 metres from the two agents, and is totally not a rip-off of Koushun Takami’s 1999 novel Battle Royale (later adapted into a 2000 film directed by Kinji Fukasaku) for legal reasons.
9 What is Mitsuko’s general attitude towards Crunchy?
She hates the mother fucking cunt.
10 What is the investigation that the agents are assigned to investigate?
The investigation that they have to investigate is a series of suspicious suicides.
11 What, so far into the book, is Hemmingway’s biggest secret?
Well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?
12 Day 2, and how do the two agents handle Crunchy?
They give him the super-important task of keeping a lookout. After all, only a man can man the post. The fact that the door is locked is purely a detail that need not be focused on.
13 Crunchy is a miserable fucker. How does he find a bit of self-esteem?
He prevents a robbery. All by himself. He is a big boy now.
14 What is interesting about Crunchy’s reflection?
It reveals a version of Crunchy as he could be.
15 What valuable skill does boy-witness and apparent hanger-on Fellini Bunuel turn out to have?
He talks to dead people. And totally not a rip-off of M Night Shyamalan’s 1999 film The Sixth Sense for legal reasons.
16 What, in a 20,000-word dissertation, is X, Squared all about, basing your answer on the first ten chapters only?
X, Squared is about have you ever had a quarter life crisis and put it into novel form? Hitting your mid twenties and seeing your life and ambitions slipping away? Then 15 years later as midlife crisis hits, and your life has slipped away even more so you read out that novel for the world to hear. We all present ourselves to the world in a way we hope is acceptable, praying that the internal chaos can stay hidden until we get home and be private for hust one awkward moment. X, Squared is about .
[DISTORTED, UNINTELLIGIBLE SPEECH OVER UPBEAT QUIZ MUSIC. FOR ABOUT 6 MINUTES]